Leah Light is a wedding minister and intuitive counselor.  Over the years she has used her gifts to help people understand and heal themselves.  Personal tragedy inspired her to write of her experiences, spawning this book and another, entitled, We Are Becoming:  Souls Evolving, AuthorHouse, 2007.  Leah is also a contributing author of a third book, 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2, Self-Improvement Online Inc., 2006.

For more information about Leah Light, please visit her on the web at:  www.leahlight.com

Chapter 14

Climbing Back Up on the Horse

The scent of freshly mown grass wafts in through the open patio door.  It’s a warm July evening full of cricket song.  I’m sitting at my computer, immersed in my favorite pastime of searching through personal ads.  Ghostie, my white tom is rubbing against my leg while Fritz growls his displeasure at having to share his territory (me).  They have “words”—the animal equivalent to profanity.  I scold them both and then take a break to stroll out onto the back deck.  The sun is just sinking over the mountains, and the sky turns orange and pink, then violet and purple, then midnight blue as the stars begin popping out.  At dusk dragonflies with iridescent rainbow wings hover about.  After that, the bats come out, swooping and darting between the trees.  It’s good that they’re here, as they keep the insect population down (though hopefully not those beautiful dragonflies).  Too bad the bats don’t eat the mosquitoes before they eat me; swarms of them finally drive me back inside where I resume my search on the computer.

I guess I’m ready now to clamber back up on the proverbial horse.  That’s what you’re supposed to do, though, as a friend put it, I didn’t just fall off the horse—it bucked me off and then trampled me.  In any event, I’ve composed a new ad.  This time I’m trying a different service through an ISP with the clever name  (meaning roughly the same as “yippee!”)  On this ad I really hit pay dirt.  Yippee!  I’m inundated with replies.  Maybe the secret to my success is placing my own ad.  I’ve learned that it’s more empowering to let the men come to me, than pursuing them through their ads.  I would estimate that upwards of 75% to 80% of men prefer a slimmer body type.  Thus, a woman like me could theoretically experience 80% rejection.  And that is tough on the self-esteem.  When writing my own ad, I boldly put it out there right up front, “full figured, voluptuous, or Rubenesque,” with a picture that shows me the way I am.  That way, only the men who are drawn to my type will answer my ad. 

The overwhelming response is exciting and flattering, and also makes me a little anxious.  I sift through the replies, using my instincts to narrow them down to a manageable few.  Some are easy to weed out, such as the blatantly sexual ones.  I’m shocked when one man sends me a link to a site for personal ads that are, well, extremely personal.  Many of them have pictures, but not of the men’s faces!  Puleez. 

I also delete rude replies, such as one from a man who answers just to criticize my weight.  So why doesn’t he reply to the skinny girls if they’re his cup of tea?  I could argue with him, but decide it isn’t worth my time to deal with a jerk.  Delete.  I also delete the verbally challenged as well as guys that are too old or too young. 

The few that remain include a huge guy; he is six-foot-four and about 350 pounds.  He’s not unattractive, at least judging by his picture.  He appears to just be big all over, not fat. We email back and forth a few times and I give him my phone number.