Martin Stuart
Are you one of those guys who doesn’t wash his hands after he flushes, and then greets people with a warm handshake? When you chew, does food fly out of your mouth and land on the person sitting across from you? Is your idea of fun passing gas in the office elevator?
Perhaps you consider yourself a perfect gentleman, but have no tolerance for those who fail to wave “thanks” when you let them merge into traffic. Do you fume when people don’t thank you for holding the door open for them? Instead of getting upset, rest assured that you now have somewhere to turn.
If any of these qualities sound familiar, please allow Martin Stuart to intervene. His latest book, Etiquette for the Average Joe Volume 2, offers another 100 chapters on modern etiquette, each illustrated with an amusing cartoon—quite possibly the most fun and effective way for a young man to learn how to become a gentleman.
Don’t worry—Martin’s advice won’t hurt. In fact, if you heed his words, life will actually become better. Think back to all the women you’ve scared away with your bad manners…now, imagine all the women you can impress with your new ability to put the toilet seat down after you use it!
Miracles do happen, even to sloppy, ill-mannered men, but they won’t happen unless you carefully read and commit to following the advice in this humorous how-to guide. Not only will women feel better about you, but—more importantly—you will feel better about yourself.
In November of 2003, the first volume of “Etiquette for the Average Joe” was released, and before he could say “Calgon take me away,” Martin Stuart was touring the country making appearances on morning television talk shows and nationally syndicated radio programs. When not busy with his book promotion tours, Martin travels extensively to lecture at high-school, college, and corporate events.
When he’s not on the go, Martin Stuart lives with his wife and two Dachshunds, they split their at home time between Southern California and British Columbia.
Aside from writing, Martin enjoys playing golf and collecting wine. His other passion is to attend the
many sporting events and piano recitals in which his nieces and nephews participate.
Please write to Martin Stuart @ PO Box 5413, Playa Del Rey, CA 90296, or visit him at
www.etiquettefortheaveragejoe.com...where you can also buy the book.
Getting Ahead in Bed
Have you ever slept with someone for the sake of bettering your career? It would be simple for me to tell you not to do it, but we all know how the mind and body work when clothes come off…
I can only offer advice based on the experiences of individuals I know, men who have completed the deal. In a word or seven, things didn’t work out to their benefit. Only one guy did not let the woman get the best of him; for the most part, the woman takes over as the controlling party. She’s the one who ended up wearing the boxer shorts, and more often than not, they were his.
Let’s take a look at what’s really at stake: pride, self-esteem, freedom and individuality. Once you have slept with someone at work, there’s no going back and no retrieving your lost values…or lost reputation.
You may think you are in love with the top female vice-president. However, chances are it’s a crush—not the real deal at all—or maybe just not yet. Perhaps you fancy a new co-worker or your sexy boss. The bottom line is that you are taking a huge risk. The results may work for or against you. If you leave the relationship at merely a friendship and don’t bring sex into the equation, you have a much greater chance of keeping your job intact.
There is always the possibility that the two of you really are in love and will end up sharing a beautiful life together. You take over the company, while she stays home and takes care of the children. Stranger things have happened, so before you cross the line, ask your heart if the two of you have genuine feelings for one another, and the decision should be simple.
Having a Ball in the Hall
It’s three a.m., and you and your loved one are enjoying a deep sleep after a memorable night in Las Vegas. Earlier that evening, you had a wonderful dinner and saw a spectacular show. What you didn’t plan for was being woken up by loud and obnoxious individuals heading back to their room in the wee hours of the night.
It boggles my mind—it’s almost as elementary as two plus two—but hotel hallway noise is simple fact. It doesn’t matter if you’re in Las Vegas or Rio de Janeiro: People walking through the hallway of a hotel can simply forget that other people nearby are trying to sleep.
Common courtesy dictates that when the sun goes down, people go to sleep. Sure, not everyone hits the hay at sunset. Some people stay up until two in the morning; others stay up all night. However, many people, young and old, retire a few hours after sundown, and hotel guests should respect their right to do so.
Of course, those who have been drinking or doing drugs have a greater tendency to believe that there is no one else on the planet but them. However, if you’re not under the influence of anything except “stupid pills,” there’s no excuse for obnoxious behavior. Try not talk until you get into your room.
Once you are inside your room, please remember the time. The volume of your voice and the television should be kept down. If the front desk calls to warn you about the noise coming from your room, that’s not the time to turn up the music. Chances are you’re not a rock star, and if the front desk calls, you should probably stop partying like one.
