Dolan Andrews
When we are depressed, heartbroken, confined, fearful, rejected or facing an illness, we often ask ourselves: ''Why me?''
Loving is Becoming is an attempt to answer that question. This book discloses a secret ''self'' within each of us, so well hidden, that even we are often unaware of it.
Understanding why we are the way we are, and why we do the things we do, gives us the power to change without putting ourselves in the hands of others. Knowing yourself is not a simple task. It can be frightening, and is probably therefore not high on your list of priorities. It is essential, nonetheless, if you are ever to find true love. You may have noticed that people who love themselves find it easy to love others and to accept love from others. Those of us who say we can''t find someone to love, generally don''t feel we are worth loving and being loved. We can change that.
Reading this book will challenge your mind, heart and soul. Your intellect, emotions and imagination are all called for because none of them alone can discover self. If you rely upon the ''scientific method,'' and doubt the reality of ''self, love, and God,'' you are in for a pleasant surprise.
Male and female intimacy and bonding is available to us all. No more walls, doubts or fear to separate us from ''becoming'' whole, loved and loving individuals. It''s all here for you without any gimmicks or tricks. ''Why Me?'' you may ask, and the answer to that question is very simply: ''Why not you?''
This is serious writing for serious readers. I hope you enjoy my book.
Dolan Andrews
Dolan Andrews lives on an island in Puget Sound near Tacoma, Washington. When he''s not writing, he walks the beach, goes boating and fishing, clears forest, landscapes and thinks about stuff. ''I lived in the rat race for many years,'' Dolan comments, ''been there and done that, so I''m not coming out of left field, or space, or library research with LOVING IS BECOMING. I''m not a psychologist and don''t pretend to be one. I''m not religious, or a cultist or a philosopher. I''m just a person like you and I write. I don''t think I''m better or smarter or different than anyone else, so if you take exception to anything in this book, you are probably correct. I can always use a little help myself.
FOREWORD
'What am I?' is a question most of us ask ourselves from time to time in our lives. When things are going wrong we ask: 'Why me?' We most often ask the question when we are frustrated, hurt, depressed or angry. At those times we want to know: 'What's wrong with me?' or 'Why am I afraid? Why am I unhappy? Why me?'
Hundreds of books have been written telling us how to change our lives, how to become happier, stronger, less afraid, better spellers, better lovers, faster readers, better parents, etc. 'How to' books and programs have made worthy contributions to human progress. Not enough, however, has been said or written about answering our real question. We are not asking 'How?' We are asking: 'Why?' If we know why something happened in the past we then know how it happened too. If we know how we have become what we are it is very likely we will be able to learn from that to become what we want to be. We then wouldn't need formulas and programs to follow blindly as we hope they will produce the results they claim they can produce.
Pronouncements of you should do this and you must do that if you want to achieve this are redundant. We don't want to be told what to do. We want to do things our way. Most of us, however, don't know what we want. We don't know what we are. We don't know why we are afraid, why we are mixed up, why we are unhappy or even why we are alive. LOVING IS BECOMING is an attempt to answer these 'Why?' questions.
What we hear and read is not always what a speaker intended to say, or an author intended to write. It is human nature to complicate the simple, and simplify the complex. So there will be no misunderstanding of this writing, I wish to tell you now that this book is about love. The 'Human' in each of us is motivated by fame, fortune, fear or sex. The 'Being' in each of us is motivated only by love. We all want love. We are all Beings. Many of us aren't getting the love we want and need. Victor Hugo described love in these words:
'The reduction of the universe to a single being, the expansion of a single being even to God, this is love.'
This book is also about love's two basic ingredients, male and female, which I call truth and beauty. Keats said of these ingredients:
'Beauty is truth, truth beauty, that is all Ye know on earth, and all Ye need know.'
How simple yet complex, like mankind, such ideas are. Through scientific mumbo-jumbo, however, modern man has drifted so far from truth and beauty as to not recognize them in himself anymore. Our modern guru, society, is electrically run, can't taste a fresh apple or smell a rose, and wouldn't understand sucking a stem of grass in a flowery field. One plus one today means naught but two, while it used to make a couple, a pair, or a duet.
Hugo and Keats are gone. It's been said God too is dead. Who then is left to lead except for simple souls like you and me? This book is intended as an illusory statement of what mankind really is. Illusory because the 'self ' is too complex to comprehend, yet simple enough to sense and feel, and eventually come to know. I like to call this study of self: 'Humanology,' and fantasize that someday there will be thousands of 'Humanologists,' from all walks of life, meeting in groups to help each other improve their lives. The basic tenants of Humanology are as follows:
'Each person is really two people, one male and one female, destined to be part of a whole through entwinement within self.'
'The self, love, and God are different words describing the same thing.'
'Most people pretend to be only 'Human,' when in fact we are all living 'Beings.'
This book has no bibliography. It's source material is from within the author's soul. The reader may verify ideas presented here by looking into his or her own soul, which is located just above and behind the belly-button. Why did I write LOVING IS BECOMING? If this book helps one person understand themself a little better, or forgive themself a little more, or learn to love themself and others less fearfully, that is my reason and my reward.
Dolan Andrews
