Michael Anthony
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This book was written for several reasons. It is not intended to offend anyone nor is it a parenting manual. Awareness of the tribulations some non-custodial parents suffer and the severe trials for everyone involved in a custody battle; and it exposes some of the tactics that an embittered parent will use to remain in control, even if it means hurting the kids. When a person judges another, this action usually originates from a matter of opinion. Discernment is made from the obvious enabling the person to know what is right and what is wrong. It is my hope that the readers may see something in this writing that will cause some to take a look at themselves and make changes that are necessary to avoid hurting their innocent youngsters.
It’s very difficult to live our lives the way we’re supposed to in today’s world. Things are very different from when I grew up as a kid. Society has grown to welcome absurd acts and unusual behaviors as being normal. With ease, plenty of people get drawn into trends that can change what they think, how they appear and their lifestyle. There are many ways a person can be lured into being part of this crowd. Unknowingly, he or she chooses to become the follower instead of a leader. The most vulnerable victims are our children who will often react to what they see and hear. When left unguided, our youngsters may feed on the trash given by their peers, seen on the screen or heard over the airwaves. Just take a close look at some of the present-day teenagers and young adults. When their parents are gone, on loose footing will these generations be left to survive in a world that’s becoming more predatory everyday? Wouldn’t now be a good time to warn our kids about the trickery that is used to seduce and destroy our youth? Here is the decision every Dad and Mom needs to make.
Do you ever wonder why kids, teenagers and young adults act and behave the way they do? Television, radios, newspapers and magazines are great sources of information. They let us see and hear the right and wrong, the good and the bad. The news they deliver can sometimes be pleasant or disturbing. Who ever thought that so much of their propaganda would become the number one enemy for many parents of today? In our ears we hear and with our eyes we see misleading information that is processed by our minds. From here it trickles into our heart and finds a vacancy is waiting. Are we so numb that we didn’t feel the media infiltrate us with these seeds of dishonesty, violence, lewdness, addiction and corruption? When this garbage is allowed to remain inside us, it can become the motive that persuades our thoughts and changes our emotions. Could it be that we have been conditioned to believe that this is acceptable?
When anyone or anything systematically finds a way to continually destroy the unity in the families of a country, they’ll successfully force the moral foundation of that nation to crumble. The promotion of secularism helps to speed up this process. It is here that faithless people can develop instructional weapons to further the damage psychologically. All this happens while we look the other way and say everything’s okay. Meanwhile, our children are deceived.
Down here in the south when I grew up education wasn’t taken too seriously. Members in my family were encouraged to do well in school but rewards for our progress were never seen. We all heard about college but had no incentive to attend because we weren’t taught about how useful it would be in our adult years. In addition to this, tuition expenses were something my parents couldn’t afford. Nowadays, even people with degrees have trouble finding a job that pays enough to support their families. I’m a product of the faulty public school system so I wrote this book in southern style, making it easy to understand.
Here is the story of a man’s desperate struggle to remain in the life of his child and keep the right to be her father. It started out as a division from his spouse and evolved into a full-scale war filled with false allegations. Instantly he became the victim. Many attempts were made to sway the child’s love and affection away from him. On several occasions he found himself repairing and rebuilding his relationship with the child. If not handled correctly, he knew this high conflict separation of Dad and Mom would confuse and hurt his little girl.
He was accused of being a threat to his child, a stalker, a drug and alcohol abuser, and an endangerment to the mother. These declarations automatically made him guilty and he was now the centerpiece of this situation. Simple observations and investigations, a large paper trail, extensive research and refusing to give up on his daughter became the key components in developing a plan that would prove his innocence. As evidence accumulated he became aware of what needed to be done in order to build a strong defense and achieve victory.
When a couple unites to become one and a baby is born to them, great changes occur for the benefit of their infant. Whether they remain together or not, this little one will have that father and mother for the rest of their life. It’s very important for every child to know that they have two parents. The ability to bond with both should never be interfered with or the end results will be damaging. Everyone has a Dad and a Mom. It’s not fair or good to take from a child what naturally belongs to them. For the sake of the children, these grown ups should act civil towards each other and remain friendly regardless of what they prefer to do. Animosity must cease to exist between the parents at all times while their youngsters are present. Like a tape recorder, they will remember what is said about the other parent.
If a man and a woman separate, the kids should never be denied the love of their folks. This action of neglect does not refer to a specific gender. It points to the one who consciously or unconsciously creates harm by obstructing the connection between the child and the other parent. Sometimes the children are used as high-powered weapons to devastate the one who departs from the arrangement. After the split, the non-custodial half wants involvement with the child but their efforts are deterred or hindered. Without justification, to disrupt the union of a child and the other parent is an injustice to both.
The absence of a healthy relationship between the child and both parents can reap havoc. This missing link can lead to spiritual, emotional, or psychological damage that will linger on forever. Protecting the children from this kind of mental abuse must become top priority.
It helps to know what kind of life the character in this story lived. From his childhood to the present, the mistakes he made and lessons learned, his family and what he was taught to believe became the structure of his being. Later in life he would discover methods that assisted in salvaging what he considered to be his personal disaster. A spiritual awakening helped him stop this destructiveness. This part of his existence resembled an earthquake in which few victims survive. Many in this country still suffer from this self-inflicted abuse.
Hopefully the experience of this man can help prevent the readers from having to go through the pain, misery, and fear of being erased from the lives of their children. It’s a real heartache to go from a full time parent to a visiting one, with most of your activities under scrutiny. Within these pages you will read from his documentation what this man did, how he fought and won so he could keep his privilege to be Poppa.
Cassie was taking me to court before Judge Daniels, the domestic mediator. She also filed an Application for Pauper Status, claiming to be very poor and not getting any support. She didn’t claim the two sports cars she bought for her sons and Wendell signed as a witness. This application was denied. Further review of this paperwork revealed she alleged that I subjected myself to chemical abuse, including alcohol. She claimed I threatened her and my daughter on several occasions. This allowed her to obtain a temporary restraining order to prevent us from harassing, threatening, and abusing each other, or the minor child. She was seeking to gain sole care custody, which would eliminate me from the life of our daughter. The papers continued to request supervised visitation for the benefit of the defendant, me. She claimed there was no child support and requested for me to show cause why I shouldn’t have to pay. The documents ended stating that this was all being done in the best interest of the minor child. Other papers showed that she had $300 on hand. This may have been my support check and I wondered if she used it to pay for these proceedings. Our court date was set for April Fools Day.
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It had been 45 days since I saw my little girl and this visit was the day before Easter. We arrived shortly before 10am and I waited outside in my car. When Tabby knocked on the door, Cassie answered. I saw Amanda come to the door and run back in to the house. My sister went inside and I continued to wait. It was almost a half-hour when they all came out on the carport. I saw Cassie coerce my little girl to go. "I hired a private eye to watch you and if anything happens to her, you’re responsible, I hate to put you in the middle like this", Cassie warned Tabby. My little girl was resisting my sister so I got out of the car. "Amanda", I called. She looked over and quickly ran to me, leaping into my arms. I hugged her tightly. "Poppa missed you baby girl", I said. There was a foul smell about her. With dirty fingernails and knotted hair, I could see that she never had a bath. Good personal hygiene is important for kids. We got in my car and went to my sister’s house. I was so happy to see my daughter and we had a good time. It was disturbing to see the noticeable confusion in my child. The mother called four times and talked to my sister, asking what we were doing. Later in the evening, Tabby told me of the threats Cassie made and how Amanda wasn’t ready or prepared for this visit. There was nothing we could do. If I wanted to see my child, we had to submit.
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On Sunday morning I was in the kitchen fixing breakfast for my little girl. I got a chair for her to stand on so she could see me do this. As she stood watching I said, "I love you baby girl, daddy didn’t draw any crosses on you, you know that". "I know, my step dad did", she replied. "What", I exclaimed! She told me that Moe lifted up her nightgown and drew an "X" on her chest. She continued to tell me how he’s mean and yells at her. It was important that I didn’t make indecent remarks about any of them. I apologized for him doing this to her and explained that there was nothing I could do. "It’s not good for daddy to fight with them, it’s not right and I’ll get in trouble", I told her. I was very angry but had enough self-control to step back and develop a strategy. My objective was to educate Amanda and teach her to be perceptive so that one day she would figure them out on her own.
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Outside there is a world of predators that are waiting to devour the minds of our children. The media has invented methods for destroying the moral intellect of our youth. Young kids, who have no concept of fear, get easily impressed or convinced, can become their targets. The lack of parental education can leave these youngsters without a defense, which makes them vulnerable. When children know the outcome of a harmful behavior or a dangerous action, they’re less likely to pursue it due to the consequences. Here is the reason all parents need to stay informed and remain involved in the lives of their children. The most horrible feeling that parents can experience is when their son or daughter becomes the addict, the thief, the whore, the homosexual, the drunkard, the murderer, the prisoner, or the victim because dad or mom didn’t teach them any better. If they’re not warned about these seductions, the world is waiting.
