Chapter Two
Marianne Helen Harrison and
London
Ida Starr: “Then he sat by the fire, and kept
looking
at me, and he said, over and over again, ‘Ay, it’s bad to be
born a little girl; it’s bad to be born a little girl.’”
The telegram read, “Mrs. Gissing is dead. Come at
once.” Gissing returned to London by train from Sussex, a journey of three
hours in wintry weather. The next morning, Thursday, March 1, 1888, he went to
16 Lucretia Street, Lambeth, where his first wife had spent the last days of
her life. She was Marianne Helen Harrison...his name for her was Nell... whom he
had met in Manchester in 1876 and married in 1879. Now at twenty-nine she lay dead
in a squalid room that spoke the barrenness and misery of her life. Gissing
examined the details of the room with detached precision and recorded them in a
diminutive script in his diary.
On the deathbed, rumpled and dirty, were soiled rags
for blankets. Under the bed on the bare floor were the only shoes the woman
owned, a pair of cheap boots. Hanging on the back of the door was a tattered
dress partly covered by a threadbare coat. No other clothing was anywhere to be
found even when he searched for it. On a table were several wrinkled pawn
tickets. They revealed that during the summer, perhaps unable to think ahead,
Nell had pawned her winter clothing. In a bureau drawer Gissing found some
scraps of stale bread and some rancid butter. It was the only food in the
shabby room with not enough heat to soften the butter. In another drawer he was
surprised to find the love letters he had written Nell during his year in
America. She had saved them all, as well as a faded photograph of him, and
their frazzled condition showed that she had read them often.
Near the pawn tickets were three grimy “pledge
cards” given to her by female temperance workers who had met her probably in
the streets. On the pledge cards were printed promises to abstain from alcohol.
Nell had signed the cards on the proper line within the last six months. These
pledges, made in good faith but quickly broken, tendered silent and pathetic
testimony of the struggle she had lost. Gissing felt the cards were proof that
she was trying to resist the pressures that had killed her while still a young
woman. For most of her adult life she had been an alcoholic and a prostitute.
Any money she was able to earn had always gone to buy cheap liquor that could
bring a few hours of escape. The record does not show that she was ever
addicted to drugs.
While the alcohol perhaps made her life easier to
endure, she died in a bleak and hostile environment without friendly care of
any kind. Her landlady disclosed that on her deathbed, dying by slow degrees,
not one person came to assist her. Nell had a few known associates, but they
were so vile in appearance (according to the landlady) that she had forbidden
them to enter the house. Looking into the dead woman’s ravaged face, fringed
with full dark hair, Gissing was uncertain whether he was able to recognize it.
Only the fine, white teeth remained the same.1 5