The devil had my funeral planned,
but God intervened and canceled the party.
The fact is Satan had enlisted my help with planning the event. It was going to be such a grand and glorious
celebration. I was quite disappointed
that the very nature of the event would preclude my being present to enjoy the
festivities.
For me, it was a great
dilemma. If I decided to seek acceptance
into a transplant program, how would I pray?
I was struggling with the knowledge that for me to receive a new heart
and live, someone must die. To resolve
the issue, I had to travel almost 20,000 miles, to Durban,
Natal, Republic of South Africa. That is where God had placed a man who would
have just the right words to enlighten me and give me peace of mind that
seeking a new heart was the right thing to do.
I had never been afraid to
die. Even when I had good reason to
believe that death was imminent, I was never afraid of it. I had already been clinically dead at least
four times over the course of many years struggling with my heart disease. I can tell you that I have vivid, detailed,
crystal clear memories of the things and the persons that I saw heard and felt,
on at least two of the occasions when I was, for a brief time, clinically dead
– no heart beat and no breathing.
I knew that whether I would live
or if I would die, the ordeal was almost over.
My future was, as it always had been, in the capable, loving hands of
God. It was almost over. I wanted it to be over – one way or the
other. I was tired, very tired, but I
was not afraid.
(My wife’s) -- last words were, as
she rushed out into the hallway toward the elevators with her eyes ablaze,
“Tell them that if they try to move John to a germ infested semi-private room I
will throw myself on the floor under the wheels of his bed to keep them from
moving him!” With that she was gone.
When Dr. Hill asked me if I
thought it had been worth it. So many
wonderful things I have enjoyed, seen, touched, felt, experienced and lived
since the transplant and since surviving that first difficult year and a
half. Was it worth it? Was it worth it?
I thought, “Well, Glory
Hallelujah to the good Lord God Almighty, yes, Yes, YES! It was worth it all.”