Andy Walks With Me

Ralph Heidler -Twila Lopez co-author

 FormatISBN Price  
This Book is Available Electronic Book (E-book Instructions)9781410751096 $ 5.95
This Book is Available Paperback (5x8)9781410751102 $ 16.50

Andy Walks With Me explores the traumatic, abuse-ridden life of young Leroy in his daily encounters with Father, a psychotic, dictatorial, would-be preacher. Compelled to escape Father’s agonizing punishments, Leroy has nowhere to go but within his own mind to find the peace he needs to survive. Father, a harsh and unforgiving tyrant, did not spare the rod in raising his fourteen children. Mother, who was distant and cold, provided the nursing care for her abused children but could not truly love them or heal their inner pain.

When Leroy becomes a young man, he assumes his birth name of Ralph, marries and begins to raise six children. One day he disappears and mercifully loses his excruciating childhood memories. Forgetting his immediate past as well, Ralph finds himself on a strange but eventful twenty-year odyssey that will eventually bring him back to confront his childhood demons and the family he left behind.

A unique story of surviving human cruelty that devastated an entire family, Andy Walks With Me is heart-wrenching, inspiring, and yes, even humorous.

Ralph Heidler and Twila Lopez were born and raised at opposite ends of the United States...Ralph on a Pennsylvania farm and Twila near the sunny beaches of Waikiki...but fate destined them to meet in 1989. Uniting their sensitivity and strength, Ralph and Twila have been married for over thirteen years.

Ralph is an excellent carpenter and Twila works with him on his projects, which have included everything from cleaning bathrooms to organizing and running large auctions. 

 One phone call prompted this industrious, creative couple to explore Ralph’s hidden but painful past. Prompted in part by Twila’s fascination with true crime stories, and despite their lack of writing experience, the couple united to write Ralph’s compelling story.

The next day, the boy worried all day at school, trying to make the situation a little easier to accept. He decided to make a cross for each grave. During playtime, he went along the fence where the rich kids threw their Popsicle sticks and collected ten of them. By splitting them in half, he was able to make five little crosses. When he finished the crosses, it dawned on him that they needed names; they couldn’t die until they had a name, he thought to himself. Since he knew the names of the twelve disciples by heart, he named them Simon, Andrew, James, and John. He would name his favorite, the female, Phyllis, because it sounded like Philip.

After school, on his way home, his heart was beating hard; it felt like it would explode out of his chest. Leroy was torn by his feelings, knowing what he had to do was a bad thing, but at least he would give these little creatures a decent burial. At home, it was no surprise to see Father waiting on the porch. He had already put the pups in a feedbag. Nothing was said as Father passed the bag to him along with a shovel. Taking the bag of pups, Leroy walked toward the creek; his heart was about to explode.

Singing always helped and since the only songs Leroy knew were the songs he had learned in church, he began the song called “The Twelve Disciples.” Halfway to the creek all of the pups were crying and squirming in the sack. Feeling sorry for them, Leroy decided to let them out for a while. This only made it worse, they were so happy playing with each other. Barking and licking his face, they ran and jumped all over Leroy as he lay on the ground. Now it was even more difficult for him to put them back into the bag. He didn’t really know how to be mean, but he did know what would happen if he didn’t get the job done.

Standing at the creek with tears running down his face, he sang the song again.

There were twelve disciples
Jesus called to help him,
Simon Peter, Andrew, James, his brother John,
Philip, Thomas, Matthew,
James the son of Alphaeus,
Thaddaeus, Simon, Judas and Bartholomew.

Leroy’s pup’s crying was now uncontrollable. Hearing the pup’s whine, Leroy was consumed by the feeling of being evil. But I will be beat if I don’t kill them, he thought.

He took the first pup and put him in the bag with a big rock and tied the bag tightly with twine. Without thinking, he dropped it in the creek. Waiting to make sure that the pup was dead and no longer suffering  (bringing it out too early would only make it worse), the ten-year-old  retrieved the bag from the creek and removed the pup. He took the pup out of the sack and laid it down. Five minutes earlier he had been jumping and running around and now he was as limp as a wet noodle.

Leroy dug a hole and laid the pup in it. He covered the hole with grass, then dirt, and then placed a big rock on the grave to prevent an animal from digging it up. Finally the cross was placed on the grave. With tears in his eyes, he knew this was just the first of five. How will he ever do this four more times? Before he continued, he must sing a song for number one, the one he named Simon. Choked up, he sang, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so, little ones to him belong, they are weak but I am strong.”

The boy hugged and cried over the four pups that were left; it was so much harder to do than he had imagined. Thinking that he would not be able to bear doing this four more times, he decided to put three of the pups in the bag at the same time. Giving them one last hug while singing “Jesus Loves Me,” he dropped the bag in the water. Crying and hugging each one as he took the dead pups out of the bag and put them in the ground, he began to sing for the three he named Andrew, James and John. He prepared the graves as he had done for the first pup and placed the Popsicle crosses on them.

Because he feared his father, who loved him, young Leroy had killed four living creatures he loved. Sitting at the four graves hugging the last pup, he sobbed over what he had just done. To kill the fifth pup, his favorite, was just impossible at this point. He continued to sing “Jesus Loves Me” and made a decision he will later regret. He will keep the pup named Phyllis and hide her in the barn.

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